Who is your friend? You must have a number of answers for this question. A friend is like a rock, someone who’s got your back, someone who sticks with you through thick and thin. We all want such a friend and want to be like that kind of a friend. But the real question is, are you that kind of friend to yourself? How do you take care of yourself when you feel guilty about something you did or ashamed of who you are because of it? Are you there for yourself, or are you just good at being a friend to others? You might not have an answer like you did for the first one. It’s not your fault. Most of us aren’t familiar with the concept of being our own best friend or even self-love. Let me explain the art of being your own friend.
Being your friend means understanding your imperfections and finding ways to push yourself in a healthier way. It’s about giving yourself the space to listen to your thoughts and feelings, even when it’s tough. It’s about taking the courage to ask for help when all you want to do is shut the door and never look back. It’s about recognizing how you deal with the rollercoaster of dramas happening around you. Now let’s look how you can be there for yourself.
- Spend some time to know yourself
First of all, many of us never observe how things affect our mental health. So, start by figuring out things like what excites you, what calms you, and what you like and dislike. And please know that the more you honestly observe yourself, the easier it will be to like and respect the real you, rather than the version of you that others like and know.
Try to notice what you’re feeling, thinking, and experiencing physically. Asking non-judgmental questions helps us stay present without overthinking. You can either write down your feelings or have a one-on-one session with yourself, looking in the mirror.
- Your relationships with others
Think about how you interact with everyone in your life, whether it’s your partner, loved ones, or even strangers. How you treat others says a lot about how you feel about yourself. Make a list of the important people in your life and ask yourself why they are important to you, why they have stuck with you through tough times, and what they would lose if they had never met you.
- Set your goals and purpose in life
Setting your goals doesn’t have to be complex. You can start by doing small things like listing out daily goals, like a to-do list, and making them happen. When you set goals and meet them, you take control of what you expect from yourself and feel awesome when you reach each goal.
- Enjoy your own company
It’s good to enjoy your own company and spend quality time alone. Being okay with solitude can be really valuable—you can dig your own thoughts and do your own thing without relying on others.
- Get out of your comfort zone
Changing your normal routine and patterns can really help you get to know yourself. Taking a solo trip for an extrovert or going to interactive workshops for an introvert can be really effective, as it pushes you to face your fear in a healthier way.
- Go for a solo date
We’re conditioned to enjoy ourselves with others, but not so much on our own. It’s important to learn how to have fun alone. Think of it as taking yourself out on a date, just like you would with a partner. From treating yourself to a fancy dinner or trying out a pottery class, solo dates have become a trending self-care routine.
- Take care of yourself
Make sure you treat yourself well. All the affection and care you give to your friends, or want from a friend, you can give that to yourself too. Buy yourself some flowers or gifts, enjoy a relaxing spa, or have some good food.
- Compliment yourself
When you do something awesome and feel proud, give yourself a pat on the back and mean it. Recognize your own worth and nurture that. Instead of chasing others’ definitions of success or power, look within. Don’t wait for others to validate your self-worth. Cut out the negative self-talk, like calling yourself names or putting yourself down for failures. You wouldn’t say those things to a friend, would you? So, don’t say that to yourself!
Remember, being your own best friend isn’t just a phrase—it’s about loving and backing yourself when life throws stones at you. Celebrate it and see how it changes your relationship with yourself.
